Sea Fangs by L. Ron Hubbard (unabridged audio book performed by a full cast)

Bob Sherman, one-time land owner and boat captain, had his dreams taken away by Herbert Marmion, who commandeered Sherman's property for the U.S. government's use. Trying to get to the bottom of things, Sherman hires himself out as a sailor on Marmion's ship, the Bonito. A hurricane then tosses them about, bringing forth the captain's ineptitude and Marmion's daughter Phyllis, a black-haired beauty.

The ship eventually anchors, but on the Island of Death, the headquarters of Venezuelan pirates from whom Sherman just escaped after an 18-month imprisonment. ("It would be just like the sea to bring me back where I least want to return.") It looks like Sherman is destined for recapture, but the Bonito puts up a good defense when attacked, with eight full minutes of shells and bullets making "the air ... alive with lead" on this fantastic audio adaptation of author L. Ron Hubbard's novella Sea Fangs.

Sea Fangs is a relatively early short novel from Hubbard, appearing first in the June 1934 issue of Five Novels Monthly, so it's not as skillfully crafted as works like Six-Gun Caballero and Under the Diehard Brand that were published only four years later.

The cast of Sea Fangs is, as usual for these Galaxy Audio productions, generally first-rate, with Firesign Theatre alumnus Phil Proctor tackling three relatively prominent roles and director Jim Meskimen juggling five other supporting parts. The only real fault in the production lies with the lead actress. The heroine, Phyllis, as written by Hubbard, goes through numerous emotions from devotion to grief to fear, but Kristen Proctor never gives anything more than the same flat line-readings.

Miss Proctor's performance actually detracts from the story instead of adding insight to the character. She is never once believable as the clever, strong-willed woman of action Hubbard imagined. Protagonist Bob Sherman fares considerably better, though this is due more to narrator R.F. Daley's reading of Sherman's thoughts and actions than to Shane Johnson's effort with the dialogue. That said, the audiobook of Sea Fangs is still a fine way to pass two hours, especially if you're commuting and you'd rather be on the high seas than stuck in a sea of traffic.

Spy Killer by L. Ron Hubbard (unabridged espionage/adventure audio book)

L. Ron Hubbard is probably best known as the founder of Scientology and creator of Dianetics. These days, his name is largely connected with the antics of the some of the more "outspoken" members of the religion, overshadowing the fact that the man really knew how to tell an entertaining story. All 150 of the stories Hubbard wrote for the pulp magazines of the 1930s and '40s are being rereleased in paperback and audio under the evocative title Stories from the Golden Age.

The recordings I've tried so far are just terrific. They are a professionally produced combination of traditional narrated audiobooks (with narration deftly handled by R.F. Daley) and old-time radio, with skilled actors playing the characters (often multiple roles) and genre-specific music and sound effects rounding out the experience.

When bucko mate Kurt Reid escapes the ship Rangoon (with help, it turns out), he has two choices: go into hiding as a fugitive of the Chinese government, or assist Russian beauty Varinka Sevischna in her project against Chinese intelligence. Since hiding in unlikely, and Kurt is always "spoiling for a fight," he accepts her offer — and soon finds himself in over his head, hot least of which when Varinka's friend (and Kurt's ex-fiancée) Anne Carsten resurfaces with an equally enticing offer.

Soon the two women disappear, however, and Reid is faced with Chinese warlord Lin Wang, who offers freedom from pursuit. In a delicious ironic twist, in order to avoid punishment for the murder he did not commit (and the reason he was a prisoner in the first place), Reid must murder someone else, namely a Japanese spy named Takeki ("the courageous"). But when Reid gets there, he recognizes Takeki and has to make a difficult choice.

Author L. Ron Hubbard fills Spy Killer with action and suspense in a land where death waits as a consequence for nearly every decision — especially inaction. But he also offers up a love story (however implausible) that adds an extra layer to events to this wonderful example of the "yellow peril" genre.

Lin Wang is a great villain — deformed physically and mentally — and Tait Ruppert plays him with gusto. Likewise, Lori Jablons is terrific in her dual role of Varinka and Anne, underscoring the fact that the two women embody separate halves of Reid's ideal.

Anyone who pays attention to things like dialogue that makes no sense unless something unspoken is true, will figure out the big twist early on. (Those who solve TV mysteries by assuming that the guest star with the least amount of air time must be the murderer, will also have an advantage.) Despite this flaw (if it is one), and its slight overlength for the breadth of its story, Spy Killer is still a pretty good adventure tale of Oriental espionage, provided you don't mind overlooking implausibilities and suspending a certain amount of disbelief. But, then, many pulp fiction enthusiasts merely consider that all part of the experience.

Bonus: for more of the story behind Spy Killer, watch the following tongue-in-cheek interviews with Kurt Reid and Varinka Sevischna, as conducted by Lawrence Carpetburner (director Jim Meskimen) on the fictional program Elbows on the Table:

Kurt Reid



Varinka Sevischnya

The Baron of Coyote River by L. Ron Hubbard (unabridged Western audio book)

These days, L. Ron Hubbard's name is largely connected with the antics of the some of the more "outspoken" members of Scientology, overshadowing the fact that the man really knew how to tell an entertaining story. All 150 of the stories Hubbard wrote for the pulp magazines of the 1930s and '40s are being rereleased in paperback and audio under the evocative title Stories from the Golden Age.

The audiobooks are a professionally produced combination of traditional audiobooks, with narration deftly handled by actor R.F. Daley, and old-time radio, with skilled actors, genre-specific music, and sound effects. The Baron of Coyote River contains two stories: the title work and "Reign of the Gila Monster."

In "The Baron of Coyote River" (originally published in All Western in September 1936), Lance Gordon is an outlaw with a price on his head and a chip on his shoulder. He's wanted for the revenge murder of his father's killer, McCloud, and he's tired of running. So, when he's faced with capture by Captain Anderson of the U.S. Cavalry, he decides to go down fighting.

A local man named Tyler admires Gordon's sand and gives him a chance to escape. Holding off the cavalry temporarily, Tyler gives Gordon a horse and a destination: "the Coyote River this time tomorrow." But Tyler isn't risking Anderson's wrath for his health; he's got a job for Gordon: infiltrate the 3B Ranch, stomping grounds of the mysterious cattle rustler known as the Baron, and report back. (Tyler was rather attached to his cows.)

Author L. Ron Hubbard adds welcome touches of humor to this story of a fight against frontier injustice. A particular highlight is when Tyler (played by Fred Tatasciore), spouts off a long-winded telegram while holding off gunfire from his pursuers as Gordon frantically writes it all down. Also, the great pacing of director Jim Meskimen and realistic sound effects put the listener right in the middle of a stampede, adding to the suspense already created by Hubbard's sharp descriptions.

Martin Yurchak takes an unusual tack and hardly plays Gordon as a hero; his performance is, in fact, quite reminiscent of Shaun Duke's villainous Charley Pearson in Six-Gun Caballero. Also, as in that book, some timely government paperwork saves the day in "The Baron of Coyote River," though not in quite as satisfying a manner.

In a change of pace from other audiobooks in the Stories from the Golden Age series, actor Bruce Boxleitner handles narration duties on "Reign of the Gila Monster," the second story contained in The Baron of Coyote River audiobook. (Listeners may remember Boxleitner from Scarecrow and Mrs. King or Babylon 5 but may not know he is also the author of the sci-fi Western Frontier Earth.)

Regular listeners may miss R.F. Daley's solid presence, but Boxleitner's slightly raspy tone is an effective substitute, offering another perspective on the narration. In fact, Boxleitner may be a mite more accessible, sounding somewhat like a favorite uncle telling the story.

A seven-foot-two jasper named Gilman (locally known as the Gila Monster) terrorizes Powderville from the marshal's seat: no drinking, gambling, spitting, or freeloading. Town founder Howdy Johnson (who intended Powderville to be the "mecca of the trail") takes action against the oversized superman because "even Hannibal had his Waterloo."

Hubbard shows his flair for the tall tale in "Reign of the Gila Monster" (originally published in Western Aces in September 1937) especially in his increasingly outrageous descriptions of the title character: "His hat ... looked bigger than an umbrella." "He had once stepped on [a] hound dog, and ... not even an inch of the animal's tail was visible." "He could take a bottle of whiskey in his hand, close his finger, and say, 'Which one have I got it in?'" This must have taxed even Hubbard's considerable skill for hyperbole.

Fred Tatasciore voices Gilman with the appropriate resonance and power, and subtlety is not called for with a character whose quietest tone can still be heard at the city limits. Prolific character actor Martin Kove (the Karate Kid trilogy and over 100 other movies) plays Howdy Johnson with just the right balance of "civic pride" and vice protection. It is a welcome departure from the traditional Western, this twist on the norm, with the villain fighting for "good" and the hero trying to keep the "bad" status quo.

I found both stories in The Baron of Coyote River to be highly entertaining, though they have very different approaches, with "Reign of the Gila Monster" probably in the lead just due to its novel take on the Western. Both, however, will entertain pulp fiction fans, and especially those of us who enjoy a good audiobook.

Dead Men Kill by L. Ron Hubbard (unabridged zombie thriller audio book)

L. Ron Hubbard is probably best known as the founder of Scientology and creator of Dianetics. These days, his name is largely connected with the antics of the some of the more "outspoken" members of the religion, overshadowing the fact that the man really knew how to tell an entertaining story. All 150 of the stories Hubbard wrote for the pulp magazines of the 1930s and '40s are being rereleased in paperback and audio under the evocative title Stories from the Golden Age.

The recordings I've tried so far are just terrific. They are a professionally produced combination of traditional narrated audiobooks (with narration deftly handled by R.F. Daley) and old-time radio, with skilled actors playing the characters (often multiple roles) and genre-specific music and sound effects rounding out the experience.

"I have come to kill you, Gordon."

So says a voice reminiscent of the grave, as its fingers wrap around Gordon's throat and slowly take his life. Detective Sergeant Terry Lane arrives on the scene and notes the similarity with another recent murder. All the evidence points to a no-longer-assailant, and Lane's fears are confirmed when he uncovers the suspect's empty coffin and has to fight off a trio of expressionless figures with only his fists.

For a while, Lane has only questions, like how do a letter from "Loup-Garou," a Haitian pharmacy bill, and the mysterious Dr. Leroux tie in to the murders? The primary targets seem to be rich and influential businessmen, but if Lane doesn't find out who's responsible and stop the culprit, the next zombie will be him.

Matt Scott turns in a solid performance as the ultranoble Lane, and John Mariano plays the mad scientist with relish (complete with a selection of diabolical laughs). But the real star of the Dead Men Kill audiobook is narrator R.F. Daley.

Author L. Ron Hubbard's prose is heavy on description, and Daley is more than up to the task. His voice is perfect for pulp fiction, and he adds just the right touch of emphasis (along with the occasional wink where appropriate) without drawing attention away from the story.

Dead Men Kill is the only zombie horror story Hubbard wrote, and the author succeeds by presenting this questionable subject in a realistic manner. He doesn't try to overexplain, but simply focuses on keeping up the story's quick pace (so we don't think about it too much). Its focus on the Haitian voodoo aspects should appeal to fans of more recent takes on the same subject, such as Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child's novel Cemetery Dance.

Under the Diehard Brand by L. Ron Hubbard (Western short stories audio book)

L. Ron Hubbard is probably best known as the founder of Scientology and creator of Dianetics. These days, his name is largely connected with the antics of the some of the more "outspoken" members of the religion, overshadowing the fact that the man really knew how to tell an entertaining story.

Pulp fiction fans rejoice, because there's a "new" voice on the block that deserves to be noticed. All 150 of the stories Hubbard wrote for the pulp magazines of the 1930s and '40s are being rereleased in paperback and audio under the evocative title Stories from the Golden Age.

The recordings I've tried so far are just terrific. They are a professionally produced combination of traditional narrated audiobooks (with narration deftly handled by R.F. Daley) and old-time radio, with actors playing the characters (often multiple roles) and genre-specific music and sound effects rounding out the experience.

Under the Diehard Brand is actually a collection of three short stories. In the title story (originally published in Western Aces in March 1938), Lee Thompson attempts to reunite with his father "Diehard" Thompson, the sheriff of Wolf River, Montana. But when Lee doesn't get the homecoming he's looking for, he gets involved with Holy George Gates by besting his foreman Anvil Bores in a fistfight.

Diehard thinks Holy George is behind a string of murders and stampedes, but the local businessmen appreciate the money Holy George brings into town via his large beef-cattle contracts — even if Diehard is sure it's blood money. They also think Diehard is getting old and going easy on the "real" criminals. (Rheumatism has slowed his gun hand to where he is afraid to use it.)

Corey Burton's vocal performance as Holy George is highly reminiscent of Robert Mitchum in The Night of the Hunter. But I couldn't place the accent used by actor (and Firesign Theatre alum) Phil Proctor in his role as Anvil Bores, until it brought to mind images of Boris Badenov of "moose and squirrel" fame (himself no doubt pulp-inspired).

The second story, "Hoss Tamer" (from the January 1950 issue of Thrilling Western) is a redemptive story of sorts. It is entertaining in its own way, though the conclusion is unsurprising. But the Under the Diehard Brand book and audio also contain a real discovery in its tragicomic final tale.

In "The Ghost Town Gun-Ghost" (from an August 1938 issue of Western Story), a man on the run from the law escapes to an nearly empty settlement populated only by a man named Pokey McKay. Pokey fills in the gaps of his loneliness by performing all the needed functions of the town under other names, and speaking of them in the third person. Rob Paulsen (a double Emmy winner for his work on Animaniacs) delivers a tour de force as Pokey and all his personalities.

Author L. Ron Hubbard not only tells an entertaining story, but doesn't shy away from descriptive passages that enhance the atmosphere, like the following from "Under the Diehard Brand":

He sidled up to the bar and stared at the dill pickle and aged cheese, which Long Henry was carelessly wont to call his 'free lunch'. Even so, the meager display was tantalizing to a stomach grown a stranger to food and coupled with a pocket lined only with tobacco crumbs.

There are some unintentional chuckles along the way and the occasional schmaltzy ending, but those sorts of things are to be expected. Nobody reads pulp fiction for the intellectual challenge it offers, after all. That said, Under the Diehard Brand is a highly entertaining listen.

The music and sound effects are of high quality, the actors are experienced professionals, and director Jim Meskimen orchestrates all the pieces beautifully. Galaxy Press has spent the money for a quality product, and it shows. Plus, Under the Diehard Brand gives the reader and listener three solid stories — and two real winners — for the price of one.

Six-Gun Caballero by L. Ron Hubbard (unabridged Western audio book)

L. Ron Hubbard is probably best known as the founder of Scientology and creator of Dianetics, but his fiction has been popular for decades. His science-fiction epic Battlefield Earth was a worldwide bestseller, as were all ten volumes of his Mission Earth series.

These days, however, his name is largely connected with the antics of the some of the more (shall we say?) "outspoken" members of the religion, overshadowing the fact that the man really knew how to tell an entertaining story. Now Galaxy Press, founded to promote Hubbard's fictional output, are focusing on the author's early work for the pulp magazines of the 1930s and '40s, reprinting all 150 of the stories he wrote during those years.

Pulp fiction fans rejoice, because there's a "new" voice on the block that deserves to be noticed. I'm a big fan of Westerns and audiobooks, but sadly, Western audiobooks are increasingly hard to come by these days. Plus, when you can find them, they're expensive. So, when I learned that the Stories from the Golden Age series was simultaneously being released in paperback and audio — with both versions at the same price — I knew I would have to try them out, despite any preconceived notions I had about the author.

The recordings I've tried so far are just terrific. They are a professionally produced combination of traditional narrated audiobooks (with narration deftly handled by R.F. Daley) and old-time radio, with actors playing the characters (often multiple roles) and genre-specific music and sound effects rounding out the experience.

Six-Gun Caballero was originally published in Western Story Magazine's March 12, 1938, issue. Michael Patrick Obañon inherited 100,000 acres of land from his father, Irishman Tim Obañ. Recently, the Gadsden Purchase has turned this Mexican property over to U.S. ownership, and all such property has been deemed open for settlement.

Tim's old friend, Judge Klarner, attempts to advice don Michael to refile his claim with the U.S. government, but he gets there just before the arrival of a gang set on taking the land and everything on it. When they mistake Don Michael for a "greaser" ranchhand and offer him new employment, he accepts and takes the opportunity to infiltrate. Because Michael Patrick Obañon is not about to let the renegados commandeer his father's legacy, but he'd rather use his wits than his silver-inlaid pistol any day; it's more fun that way.

Director Jim Meskimen's performance as don Michael grounds the whole cast's performance with its subtlety. He embraces the charm and humor of the character, adding more than could be projected merely on the printed page. Meskimen's relatively low-key acting leaves Shaun Duke free to chew up and spit out the microphone in his wonderfully over-the-top, villainous turn as Charlie Pearson. The rest of the cast, R.F. Daley and Tait Ruppert, is equally talented. (All the roles are played by just four people, and you'd never know it.)

Hubbard uses the traditional Western form to tell a challenging and unpredictable story, where the hero outwits his attackers instead of merely having to outshoot them. In doing so, he also puts the spotlight on the consequences of a well-known historical event: one seen as positive on the one side but obviously not fair to everyone involved. But Six-Gun Caballero is so intelligent and suspenseful that you'll not really notice the historical subtext until it's over.

I'm really excited about sampling more of the Stories from the Golden Age series of pulp tales. I think you'd agree that anything that gets somebody actually excited about fiction these days is worth a look. And Six-Gun Caballero is a great place to start: it's not only an exciting story, but it also takes a nontraditional approach to the hero, something that is even today a pleasant surprise in Western fiction.